Avoid Relationships With These Dudes At All Costs!
There are billions of men in the world. And all of those billions of men can be divided up into just two categories: Dateable and Not Dateable. And more often than not, we ladies make the mistake of dating Not Dateable men.
Okay, so maybe there are shades of grey, and a guy’s “dateability” might be more circumstantial than any absolute rule can determine. And there are certainly qualities of certain women that make us equally undateable.
But the fact remains that plenty of us – men and women – date someone we know isn’t right for us, and yet we do it anyway. Other times, we have no idea the person is bad news until the relationship is underway.
To help you avoid making any further mistakes, below is a list of the worst types of guys you can possibly date (some of which you’ve probably already dated, if we’re being honest). In the future, bear in mind that these men are Not Dateable. At least, not right now. If you’re interested in any type of fulfilling romantic partnership, throw these minnows back into the sea to mature – or leave the hopeless ones gasping for air on the dock.
1. The Commitment-Phobe
The commitment-phobe acts like he’s really into you, but says he just “doesn’t know how” to commit. As if maintaining a monogamous relationship is a daunting life task on par with learning a new language or picking up an instrument? It’s really not that hard if you’re actually into someone, bro.
2. The Deadbeat
He seemed super sexy over drinks at the bar last Friday night – but then you find out his only interests in life are watching Netflix and eating ham sandwiches.
How drunk were you when you gave him your number? Ditch the guy with no motivation or life direction.
3. The Bad Boy
He’s inked all over and rides a motorcycle – or wears a suit every day to his 9-5 job but gets crazy at the club on Thursdays through Sundays. Either way, he definitely doesn’t give a s*** if you like him or not. This guy’s okay if you’re on the rebound, or just looking to have fun, but remember: Not (actually) Dateable.
4. The Fun Vacuum
Your mom set you up on a blind date (“Oh honey, he’s SUCH a nice boy!”) with this guy who sucks the joy from your very being. He looks like he’s being choked by his tie and doesn’t know how to talk about anything other than work. You decide to bolt and use the “ate bad sushi” excuse with your mom later.
5. The Chronic Liar
You’re a few weeks in with this nice guy who seems totally normal. That is, until you discover he’s been lying about everything: his job; his age; where he lives; the name of his dog. Oh yeah, and he’s got a wife and kids, too. Awesome!
6. The Addict
The Addict might nurse the bottle every day and night; maybe he smokes crack; or perhaps his middle name is “Pornhub”. No matter what the destructively addictive scenario may be, it’s not your responsibility to get this guy’s act together.
7. The Overly-Friendly One
He has an amazing sense of humor and gets along great with everyone he meets. A little too great, actually. Wait a second – is he flirting with your pretty neighbor?! Now he’s literally creeping behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. BYE-BYE, BONEHEAD.
8. The Workaholic
You’re attracted to him because he’s so driven: He’s determined to get the big promotion at work, become the next CEO, or make seven figures this year. All of which is great… until he has zero time for you because his job is his life. Passion is sexy; obsession, not so much.
9. The Old Guy
This guy seems so much more sophisticated than all the other knuckleheads you’ve been with. You relate to his maturity, and marvel at his wisdom. But just remember that if he’s thirty years older than you, he probably won’t be around to see your kids graduate high school. Think twice about the guy who has more in common with your father than with you.
