Does Your Partner Hate Your Pet? Or Is Your Partner’s Pet The Problem?
Your boyfriend or girlfriend may adore you – but perhaps he or she can’t say the same for your pet dog, cat, fish, lizard, ferret, or armadillo. (What the hell are you doing with an armadillo, anyway?). Or maybe you’re the one who just can’t get down with Fido (or Felix, or Bubbles, or Lizzie or Frank…or Tank).
What’s a couple to do when a pet stands in the way of love?
A pet can be a huge source of friction in any relationship, especially when the animal has been a part of the family long before you or your partner entered the picture.
I’d adopted my cat five years before I met the woman who’d someday become my wife. Fortunately, she hid her disdain for the poor creature for the first year that we dated. Unfortunately, she hid her disdain for the poor creature for the first year that we dated.
See, communication is of the utmost importance when it comes to such a conflict. It wasn’t until we moved in together that my future wife would reveal just how annoying and un-cute she found my little kitty – and as you can imagine, his father (that’s me) did not take this well, especially this far into the relationship. It turns out that she had mild allergies, causing mild skin irritation and sneezing. And it didn’t help that the hungry bugger would wake her up every morning at 6AM (somehow I possessed the ability to sleep through this admittedly torturous daily routine).
In addition to allergies and general annoyance, there are a number of potential problems that you or your partner might have with the animal. Sometimes the issue might stem from jealousy, resentment, or a childhood trauma (e.g. dog bite, cat scratch, parrot mocking). Whatever the issue may be, it’s absolutely crucial that you treat your partner’s concerns, wishes, and feelings with respect. If she loves her Chihuahua, do not try to stand in the way of their relationship – you’ll have to find a way to compromise. Conversely, if he doesn’t like your Chihuahua, try to understand what it is about the little guy that gets under his skin, and address it directly, with an open mind.
In my situation, I tried to be as sensitive to my wife’s allergies as I could by brushing my cat each morning, and vigilantly tending to any hair I’d find around the house. I also agreed to keep the cat out of the bedroom at night – not only to minimize allergens, but to end the 6AM wakeup calls. In turn, she recognized the action I was taking, and became more tolerant of the cat, even going so far as to (gasp!) pet him now and then. My concessions greatly alleviated much of the stress and controversy his very presence had caused.
We all love our pets – and no human who loves his or her romantic partner should ever try to stand in the way of that unique, unmatchable bond between owner and animal. But with that said, a couple must always give their relationship precedence by focusing first on what each partner needs. If you can get to a healthy, happy place with your significant other, you’ll provide a healthy, happy environment for a pet to thrive in.
