I think I’ll always have a love-hate relationship with porn.
On one hand, I love it. I first started watching porn when I was in high school and could sneakily look at naughty, albeit blurring, pictures after my parents went to bed. Today, I still enjoy porn and would rather masturbate with porn than without.
On the other hand, I hate it. The expectations porn gives to men and women is disheartening. I don’t look like those girls (I’m not small like a general porn star, but not as big as most of the BBW porn stars). It’s unrealistic, and some men don’t know how to separate the fantasy of porn from the reality of stretch marks, blemishes, and rouge patches of hair that I missed when shaving because gosh darn it I was in a hurry this morning.
But you know what? I’ve had porn sex – amazingly hot, sexy, uninhibited, animalistic sex. At least, it felt like that. I’m guessing that if we had recorded ourselves and watched it back, it wouldn’t look like a produced porno. That doesn’t matter. I’ve had sex that felt as good as porn sex looks, and I think my partners would agree.
So how can you have “porn sex” with your partner? Here are my best tips:
Tip #1: Be enthusiastic
I’ve been told by several men that I give the best blowjob they’ve ever had (here are some tips). Why? It isn’t because I’ve read Cosmo’s 101 secrets on the topic. It’s because I enjoy myself. Amp up the enthusiasm and encourage your partner to do the same. His kisses get you the wettest you’ve ever been. His cock is the biggest you’ve ever seen. His cum is the sweetest you’ve ever tasted. You get the picture. A funny thing happens when you just try to be enthusiastic – you start to actually feel it. It’s a mind over matter thing I guess!
Tip #2: Vocally express your wants
This one is kind of hard for me, since I’m so submissive in nature, and it seems a little dom-y to say you want something in the bedroom. But being really vocal in the bedroom is HOT. Porn stars are rarely quiet or tongue tied. Get your dirty talk on, and if you’re a little self-conscious about that, make the walls shake with moans.
Tip #3: Turn down (but not off)
Listen, if you’re completely confident with your body, more power to ya – keep those lights on. But for the other 99.999999999% of us – low light can do wonders. The fact of the matter? We all have issues with our bodies – things we don’t like that could prevent us from having fun in the bedroom because we’re worried about what our partner thinks. Low light is awesome, because you can still visually connect with your partner, but it’s more forgiving. No fumbling in the dark, and you can see your partner’s face. Install a dimmer switch if you haven’t already, or get some cheap lamps with 20W bulbs that you can use instead of harsh overhead lighting.
Tip #4: Think outside the bed
Ever notice how porn stars are having sex everywhere? The bedroom is great place to fuck, but consider christening other areas of the house as well. Mark and I love sex in the shower, and you can also have sex in the living room, bent over the dining room table… you name it!
Tip #5: Get some sexy undies
Porn stars do not wear granny panties (unless that if you kink – then go for it!). I know that tight jewel-studded thong is uncomfortable, but you don’t have to wear it to work. Just play into the fantasy for a few hours!
Tip #6: Embrace the fantasy
Real life is rarely as exciting as a porno. Get into the fantasy of it with some role-playing. Be the naughty nurse or timid schoolgirl for the night. You don’t need costumes (though that can be fun). Just be open-minded about trying new things. Which brings me to my next point…
Tip #7: Try new things
What haven’t you done with your partner? I assure you – no matter how sex-positive you are, there are always new things to try. Get into some light BDSM or spanking, even if it typically isn’t your thing. If BDSM is your thing, try reversing roles, even for just one night. Try anal sex for the first time. Purchase a new toy. Really, the options are endless.
