A Guide To Putting Your Best Foot Forward Via The Dating App Or Website
Dating via OkCupid can be an exercise in humility…or humiliation. When I first signed up for the dating site, I was immediately drawn in by the prospect of meeting a plethora of women who I knew were interested in finding a romantic partner. As a 24 year-old male, however, I seemed to be radioactive. In my first two months on the site, I received two responses out of 54 messages sent, resulting in only one date (the other response fizzled out after a brief exchange).
Disenchanted by the rotten fruits of my labor, I deactivated my account.
Two years later, I decided to give OkCupid one more shot. But when I re-examined my now ancient OkCupid profile, I cringed. Within seconds, I could already see the many mistakes I’d made in branding myself that I couldn’t see before.
Over the following two and a half years, I embarked on an online dating journey that led to me better understanding myself and ultimately, finding a wonderful girlfriend whom I am still with today. Here, broken down section by section, are the secrets to building an OkCupid profile that will ensure a level of success like mine:
My Self-Summary
Share a couple of adjectives to describe yourself and explain how those adjectives correspond with something you thoroughly enjoy. Keep it short and sweet.
What I’m Doing With My Life
Mention your job. A prospective date wants to know that you can support yourself and that your credit card won’t be maxed out when you buy her tacos for the first time.
If you don’t love your job, don’t advertise that sentiment. Leading with negativity will get you nowhere!
The First Things People Usually Notice About Me
Mention one physical trait that you’re proud of. This is a section in which it’s completely fine to pat yourself on your back. Everyone finds confidence attractive!
Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, and Food
Provide one to three of each, ideally citing a variation of genres for each topic. And if you don’t read books, for example, there’s no need to say so – no one’s ever dated someone because they don’t read.
The Six Things I Could Never Do Without
This section is a great place to showcase both your sense of humor and your serious side. Be sure to reveal who (including pets!) means a lot to you and what you’re most passionate about.
I Spend A Lot Of Time Thinking About
Show off your smarts… and your dumbs. This section provides another good opportunity to show depth and a sense of humor. If you spend a lot of time thinking about string theory, feel free to mention that you also often think about just how healthy your string cheese addiction is.
On A Typical Friday Night I Am
If you’re a well-rounded person, you can employ a clear dichotomy between a low key and more exciting option.
The Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit
Letting your guard down a bit is a sign of confidence, but keep it endearing. Revealing that you slept with Batman sheets until 9th grade is one thing; revealing that you slept in your Mom’s bed until 9th grade, however, means that you belong on OkCreepy.
I’m Looking For
If you’re a 30 year-old man, it’s about time you start searching for women older than 20. And if you’re not looking for anything serious, click “short-term dating”. “Casual sex” may be straight to the point, but it instantly kills any potential momentum with anyone you’d actually want to sleep with in the first place. The more options you’re open to (e.g. friends, long-term dating, etc.), the more times your profile will pop up in a prospective date’s search.
You Should Message Me If
Again, humor is crucial for this one. Interjecting humor throughout your profile isn’t just important – it’s imperative! If you’re not a laughing riot, feel free to use a quote that indicates you have some sort of understanding of what makes you laugh and what you hope he or she would find funny, too.
You Profile Photo
Select five images that reflect your interests and showcase your best physical attributes. Don’t bother to pay someone for a photo shoot – if you don’t look like your photos in person, your date will feel duped! And please: no selfies.
Last But Not Least
Ask someone of the opposite sex to proofread your profile. And if you’re a guy, I don’t mean your 50-year-old married aunt with three kids. (Unless a 50-year-old married women with kids is your thing). Check in with friends of your age to approve of what you have to say. Your dream guy or girl might be able to look past a lapse in grammatical judgment if you have a profile that screams, “I’m awesome!”.
Bottom Line
As with any art form, dating takes time to master. One’s ability to develop comfort in the art of wooing depends mostly on confidence… and a bit of luck. But by applying some well-tested advice, you’ll be much more likely to find success online. Just ask my girlfriend!
