Your Campus Romances Likely Haven’t Prepared You For Dating In The “Real World”
Congrats, you’ve graduated college! Bid adieu to academia and say hello to the promising young-adult chapter that features a new job, new city, new you! But what will happen to your love life? Are the techniques required for finding “the one” (or even “someone for now”) the same as they were in your collegiate days?
Sorry, but not a chance. Let’s explore this new territory and expose three hard truths of the post-grad dating scene:
1. Say Goodbye To Meal Swipes
You may have successfully lived off of dining hall swipes and the occasional Chipotle bowl for four glorious years, but it’s time to kiss that meal plan goodbye. For the same reasons it was no longer cool to bum rides off your mom and dad once you got your driver’s license in high school, it’s no longer acceptable to take someone to a cafeteria and pass it off as a proper date. Now your romantic prospects will be expecting to eat real, human food. Ask him or her where or what cuisine he or she has been dying to eat, and TA-DA! The work is done. The good news is that gaining the “freshman (or sophomore…or junior, or senior) fifteen” is no longer a possibility. The bad news is that now you have to shell out $15 for cocktails.
2. Forget “Bumping Into” Someone
Real world dating requires a bit more effort than college dating did. Non-committal texting or “up-in-the-air” plan-making with the assumption you’ll see your love interest in class or on the quad won’t cut it beyond the boundaries of a college campus.
City life is no cakewalk; with 392,742,034 other people crowding the streets and subway platforms, you’re 100x less likely to conveniently bump into that special someone, so a more focused communication style is the key to making relationships work: Your new homework is to actually schedule a time and a place to meet someone. Make plans ahead of time! Your date will appreciate the effort.
3. Adios, Exclusivity
Of course, there is a definite plus-side to dating after college: with exponentially more people and meet-up spots in any given non-campus area, it’s much easier (and less stressful) to play the field. If you’re not absolutely smitten by the end of the night (i.e. he seemed nice, but you still want to keep your options open), guess what? That’s okay! Remember sophomore year when being seen on a date (or locking lips at a frat party) with more than one guy in the same week practically earned you the collegiate version of the Scarlet Letter? After college, it’s no longer a problem! As long as you haven’t agreed to an exclusive relationship, you’re free to date and mingle with whomever you so choose. Just be sure that your partners are on the same page to avoid any potential unpleasant endings. The key to dating multiple people at once is maintaining transparency. If you can be open about keeping things casual while biding your time with various suitors, you’ll eventually find one that actually fits the bill.
