How To Tell If You’re In Love… Or Just In Lust
How do you know if you’re in love? Is there a test you can take? Will it just come to you as an epiphany? Does it manifest itself as a heart-pounding, breathtaking fever? Or, could it feel like the 24-hour-orgasm described in so many romance novels? (I wish.)
While there’s no mechanical “love detector” or simple online quiz that can answer this for you, there are certainly some telltale signs that you’re experiencing the uniquely human phenomenon of being in love.
If you’ve uttered more than just a few of the following phrases, it might just be the real deal!
“I can’t keep my hands off of him / her.”
Physical attraction is often – but not always – the first step to falling in love, as sexual chemistry is undeniably important in a romantic relationship. Being in love can quite literally set off chemical reactions that turn us into garment-tearing crazed animals, but it’s important not to confuse love with lust. Sexual attraction is often the single factor that most directly influences people to choose otherwise incompatible romantic partners, so don’t ever go by it alone…
“I need him / her in my life.”
Have you come to rely on the person you’re dating for more than just inner thigh massages? If you yearn to lean on that special someone for advice, emotional support, and comfort at the end of a long day, it’s a good sign that you’re falling in love. However, as with the confusion that physical attraction can bring, be careful not to confuse love with infatuation.
If you’ve just begun to date someone, you’re likely more fixated on the novel idea of having found a potential soulmate. You can’t possibly yet know if they could or should be an integral and permanent part of your life – it’s just too soon to tell.
“I would sacrifice anything for him / her.”
If your boyfriend or girlfriend needed your help, would you come running without hesitation? Would you expend limitless resources (whether financial, physical, or emotional) to ensure his or her happiness? If you’re truly in love, you’d go so far as to visit that person in an Antarctic hospital, or even endure yet another Thanksgiving with his or her crazy, drunk Uncle Walter (yeah, the one who won’t stop ranting about the existence of Bigfoot). Love is all about compromise and sacrifice.
“She / he gets me like nobody else.”
Sharing certain key values and beliefs about how you want to live life can only bode well for your relationship – especially when that relationship is founded on an incomparable shared mental connection. She might not always tell you what you want to hear, and he might not say the perfect thing at every moment, but a loving partner always knows where you’re coming from and supports where you’re going. (Bonus points awarded if the two of you are able to finish each other’s sentences. It’ll drive your friends crazy, but that’s only because they’re JEALOUS).
“We just fit.”
Couples that have dated for a long time and subsequently fallen in love will eventually build a bond that is indescribable by words: call it the “umami” of love senses, if you will. Such a level of recognized compatibility is absolutely crucial. As frustratingly simple as it may sound to the uninitiated, the cliché is true: “When you know, you know”. You can take a dozen online quizzes, and read a million articles just like this one, but when you’ve truly fallen in love with someone for the first time, there won’t be any doubt. Be patient, don’t force it, and let love find you.
