If you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, or been going out on a lot of bad dates lately you may be forgetting some of the basics. Don’t always assume that it is the men that you are going out with that are the problem. You need to be an active participant in the date experience in order to give yourself and your date a decent shot. There are a couple of things that you should always remember when it comes to conducting yourself while out with someone for the first time.
Add to the conversation
There is a growing stigma about women down playing their ability to carry a conversation during a date. Tossing your hair around and laughing at everything your date says might seem like the easiest thing to do, but it’s not winning you any points. Although it is always good to be complimentary, it is never good to come off as uneducated or bored. Think of conducting conversation like you would a tennis match.
Be yourself, it may haunt you later
It is important that you be honest with where your interests truly lie. Just like you, men are very attached to their hobbies, and just like you not all men expect you to love and take part in every one. However; dating and relationships are give and take. If your date is really into extreme sports, it’s probably not a good idea to fib and say you are too in an effort to gain points. You stand the risk of having a second date planned around mountain biking or rock-climbing. It is perfectly okay to mention you’ve never really done those things, but you’d like to if you had a patient teacher (only if you are sincere about this).
Don’t agree with everything he says
The idea that we all have a soul-mate is an amazing and lovely concept. That doesn’t mean that everyone’s soul-mate is a carbon copy of themselves. Constantly trying to find similarities between the two of you on a first date is unnecessary and a little desperate. Don’t be deterred if the person sitting across the table is polar opposite from you. This might provide the opportunity to teach you something you never knew about yourself or about the world. How awesome is that!
Don’t Settle
If you are asked out on a proper date by a gentleman then treat it as such. Let the man be the man and infuse some romance into the situation. A man who asks you out should pick up the bill, pull out your chair, open the door and let you order first. If you start making concessions on these small details in the very beginning you are setting the course for the rest of your relationship. There is nothing sexy about going dutch.
Listen to what he is saying
If on the first date he automatically starts mentioning the fact that he just got out of a long-term relationship and is dating around, or isn’t looking for anything serious this is EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANS. There is no code to break here. He has already assessed you, the compatibility that he thinks the two of you have and has determined that at most you can date casually or have sex. If he was interested in something more long-term or serious he wouldn’t be deterring you from thinking of him as a serious prospect; he’d be locking up the second date.
