Penis Pumps – Pump Up The Jam (And Get The Party Going On)

An unfortunate name aside, Bathmate HydroMax7 is actually a stellar dick pump. As some of you know, I’m a massive fan of penis pumps. However, water penis pumps are definitely my favorite. In my book, they are head and shoulders above the competition.

Things are similar with Bathmate HydroMax7. It’s an excellent pump that will not only make your manhood look more manly but also improve your stamina and durability. You can’t really ask anything else out of a dick pump, now, can you?

The 7-inch case is more than enough for an average schlong. It’s also quite bulky, which means it won’t break easily. Of course, that also means that it’s not exactly super easy to handle. However, most pumps worth your time won’t be. Something flimsy and fragile isn’t the best choice to encase your one-eyed snake in.

Like most water pumps, Bathmate HydroMax7 is a bit tricky to handle. You have to get into the right position and take extra care not to damage your precious family jewels. Some men find this annoying, but I personally think the pump is worth the hassle. Check out my full review to see how this pump can make your puny soldier stand to attention and get promoted to a general.

Another water penis enlargement pump that blew my mind is the Penomet Premium. It’s one of the few that’s been scientifically proven to work. Or so they say. It’s definitely been Mark-approved.

Penomet Premium is one of my favorite products that I recommend to anyone who asks (and to some who don’t ask) because it’s so accommodating.

What do I mean by that? Water dick pumps aren’t exactly beginner-friendly. That’s especially true if they don’t have many options and features that allow the users to control the vacuum and the pressure.

Penomet Premium isn’t like that at all. This pump comes with four different detachable pressure gaiters. These allow you to gradually increase the pressure on your dong during the course of your penis enlargement process. Sure, that takes time, but it also shows the best results (slow and steady wins the race, my friends).

You can take your pick between 60, 65, 70, and 75 gaiters. You can also try your luck with the Extreme Force 80 gaiter. Of course, I’d strongly advise all beginners to avoid writing checks their dicks simply can’t cash. In other words, the four different gaiters offer beginners a chance to ease themselves into the process instead of diving in penis-first and experiencing an unpleasant grip on their poor manhood. So, instead of following the “go big or go home” logic, start small. I suggest starting with the 60 gaiter and working your way up.

One of my all-time favorite pumps is definitely the Fleshlight’s Fleshpump. This beauty is, of course, a regular automatic pump. Now, I can already hear you yapping at me, “But, Mark, you said water pumps are the best; what’s this automatic pump nonsense, now?”

Settle down, my gorgeous duck-pumping enthusiasts. Just because I prefer water pumps doesn’t mean I shouldn’t acknowledge other extraordinary air pumps, especially when they are so beautifully made.

Fleshlight managed to elbow its way onto the penis pump market quite efficiently with a simple and elegant design and a sturdy and effective product. Their Fleshpump is reliable and effective.

I also mentioned in my complete review that it doesn’t look like a torture device. That’s something I really appreciate. As you know, I’m a massive lover of innovative design. However, sometimes the most straightforward solutions are the best. There’s no need to always feel as if you’re sticking your lap rocket into something that came off of an alien spaceship. So, the design really ticks all my boxes.

The pump is also somewhat versatile, considering that it comes with two donut sleeves. Following the idea that one size does NOT fit all, Fleshlight packs two different sleeves with each of their pumps. The first one isn’t all that flexible, and some might say it’s a bit rigid. It’s also curved inward. The second donut sleeve is more supple and curved outward. It’s also softer and allows for a gentler grip on your nether regions.

Despite its deceptive name, Bathmate Hydroxtreme7 is an air-based pump. But does that mean it doesn’t use water? No, actually, it doesn’t. You can use both air and water. Of course, water is the superior option.

Bathmate Hydroxtreme7 is an air-based pump, but it uses water to increase the pressure around your Mister to draw blood into it. That makes it safer overall. The air compression doesn’t really have a limit, and you could end up hurting yourself. Water, on the other hand, can’t be compressed indefinitely. That means there’s a firm limit you can reach when you inevitably have to stop pumping.

But what makes Bathmate Hydroxtreme7 so great? Is it just the water?

The options, that’s what. Bathmate Hydroxtreme7 is more versatile and has more features than its predecessors. First of all, it comes in various sizes. Now, while some might say that having one pump that fits everyone is a better option, that’s not exactly true. Having a pump that’s made explicitly for your size is much better logistically. If you have a 5-inch yogurt slinger, what do you need a 12-inch pump for? You’d just have a bulky pump and all of that unused space staring back at you.

Second, the Bathmate Hydroxtreme7 comes in a box full of goodies. Not only do you get the pump, but you also get the accessories. Most notably, you get the handball pump, a feature only included with the Hydroxtreme series.

You can attach the handball pump directly onto the device or put a long hose in-between them for more comfortable hand pumping. Having this accessory means you don’t have to push the entire pump (which isn’t light, by the way) onto your groin.

Why fix it if it ain’t broken, right? That seems to be the motto of Tracey Cox Edge Pump as well. It isn’t exactly the most innovative pump out there. In fact, if you look at it with a critical eye, you’ll see that it looks rather familiar, right?

Yes, it’s quite reminiscent of the Fleshlight’s Fleshpump. However, although similar, the Tracey Cox Edge Pump also has some nice add-ons that made it worthy of my supreme top penis pump list.

Is it a regular automatic penis pump? Well, yes, yes it is. However, it also allows the user to control the suction. In fact, there are three different suction options (gentle, medium, and strong). You’ll agree that that is a new (and super handy) feature.

Aside from Tracey Cox Edge Pump being beginner-friendly, it also serves more than one purpose. Of course, it will do its job and pump your willy to its full potential. However, because it has two different sleeves – one strictly for pumping and the other one for more pleasurable ministrations – it’s also a fun sex toy.

The two sleeves are quite different from one another. The black one is stretchy and comfortable, which makes it ideal for pumping. It won’t pinch your skin or endanger your lap rocket in any way. The other sleeve (the white one) is a silicone sleeve designed for pleasure. Although it’s also stretchy, it’s much tighter than the black one. On top of that, it also has some texture to it that will massage your dick while the pump does its magic.

Look, if anyone from the decision-making teams of penis pump companies is reading this – what’s up with these unfortunate, generic names? Autoblow SmartPump sounds like something that will help me out on the side of the road when I blow my tire.

But what it lacks in name, it more than makes up for in design and efficiency. Automatic pumps generally make our lives a little bit easier, and this one is a stellar example. With usual air pumps, you have to do the pumping manually and monitor the pressure closely. The risk of over-pumping isn’t great, but it’s there.

With an automatic pump like Autoblow SmartPump, you don’t have to worry about going overboard with pressure. The pump has a smart mode where you can set a specific pressure point you’d like in the pump, and the smart software will automatically make sure the pressure doesn’t falter. It also has a manual mode where you can control the pressure level by yourself.

This is a great feature if I’m honest. Going automatic isn’t always ideal for everyone, so the fact that you can go back and forth is greatly appreciated. The digital screen also helps matters because it allows you to monitor everything that’s happening easily. It also monitors the time, so you’re sure you won’t overdo it.

At this point, I’m just going to stop commenting on the names because, clearly, they all suck. Anyway, if you’re looking for a typical air pump that has a standard pressure gauge and is sturdy and reliable, look no further than the Performance VX8. It’s a pump that will not only get you harder than ever but also allow you to play a bit afterward.

Let me just say right off the bat; it’s a big pump. You won’t be able to hide it as it’s quite conspicuous. There’s no mistaking it for anything else than what it really is. However, if you’re like me and you like to proudly display your toys and accessories, that won’t be a huge issue.

Performance VX8 has a large plastic cylinder and a pistol pump. Pumping with this type of pump is easy and comfortable, which is one of the reasons this pump made it to my top ten list. Aside from that, the pump has silicone tubing – a cock strap that will keep you rock hard after you release your monster from the pump.

Generally speaking, this pump ticks all the boxes and does its job well. The cock trap is a nice add-on that blends the pragmatic and pleasurable aspects of penis pumps. With Performance VX8, your heat-seeking moisture missile will get larger than ever and stay hard for as long as you want (or can hold out).

Guys that work out know how amazing it is to make an exercise schedule, stick to it, and marvel at the results later on. Well, if you’re too lazy to hit the gym, get yourself a penis pump and enjoy the same process instead.

Optimum Series Automatic Pump is a great gadget that allows you to make an exercise regimen for your rod and get it to its full potential. This automatic dick pump has all the standard features automatic pumps usually do, but with a bit of extra. The extras are customizable exercise regimes you can make based on your end goal, preference, etc. These 20-minute regimes tailored to your needs will help you get stronger erections and make you the king of your bedroom (or living room, bathroom, wherever you want to get your freak on).

One of the things I really enjoyed while using the Optimum Series Automatic Pump is that while it takes two hours to fully charge, it has a battery life of 12 hours. That means that I don’t have to constantly worry about getting that dreaded “battery low” warning in the middle of pumping.

Another great thing about this pump is the rigged sleeve. After you’re done pumping, you can take the cylinder off and use the sleeve to get some quality one-on-one time with your rocketman, if you know what I mean (and you DO know what I mean). The sleeve is quite pleasant, and the ridges will make the entire experience glorious.

If you like air pumps but hate hand pumping, I have the perfect solution for you! Pump Worx Accu-Meter has an easy-grip trigger handle that will make hand pumping a thing of history!

In my almost-expert opinion, the Pump Worx Accu-Meter dick pump is one of the best air pumps out there, specifically because of the trigger handle. With it, you can easily get the pressure inside of the cylinder to the exact level you want it. The pump also has a gauge that’s super easy to read that will make sure you don’t over-pump.

Aside from that, the plastic cylinder, which is sturdy and quite heavy (which isn’t always a bad thing), has measuring points on it. As a bonus, there are both metric and imperial units (for your convenience). I love looking at the metric units because I am a vain man who thinks bigger is better and 19 centimeters sounds better than 7.5 inches.

Of course, the pump also has the standard quick-release valve that will alleviate the pressure as soon as you want to.

Overall, as far as air pumps go, this is at the very top of my “not water pumps, but they will do” list.

Here’s the thing – once I discovered how much of a difference easy-grip trigger handles make, I had to do some investigating to find the best pumps that have them. Therefore, feast your eyes on the last entry on my list – the Apollo Premium Power Pump.

It’s quite similar to the last pump because it has similar main features. It’s a standard air pump (until you look a bit closer). Upon further inspection, you can clearly see that Apollo has improved some of the finer points of air pumps.

For example, you can detach the air hose without losing any suction or pressure. What’s more, the hose is also of a slightly better design given that it’s not only non-crimping and flexible but also quite long. This doesn’t exactly improve the overall results (or affect them in any way), but it certainly makes the entire process of pumping easier and more comfortable.