Hi! Welcome! Come one, come all (and I do mean that literally). My name is Mark Mitchell, and I am the brains (and penis) behind Best Blowjob Machines. I test and write about all of the best sex toys for men that the world has ever seen. I also talk about how and where to buy them, keep them safe and clean, and so much more.
My number one goal is to get rid of the stigma surrounding male sex toys. However, I also want to show you that, no, you don’t have to only use your hands anymore. Allow me to explain.
Some of My Favorite Sex Toys for Men
As you can imagine, during my long and fruitful career, I’ve reviewed hundreds of sex toys for men. Here are the ones that sent shivers down my spine and gave me some of the best Os of my life.
Autoblow A.I.+
Autoblow has already amassed a massive following of (very) happy customers with empty balls and huge smiles on their faces. This (I want to say magical) sex toy for men gives you a firsthand look into what it’s like to get sucked off by an actual pornstar. However, the new Autoblow A.I.+ improves on that experience with an adjustable cock gripper, voice control, and significantly quieter operation. Plus, while the original Autoblow gave us 10 different BJ experiences, the A.I.+ lets you expand and customize them via app control!
If you want to build schlongevity in bed but you don’t have anyone to practice on or if you simply want to get your dick sucked until you can’t walk straight, the A.I.+ will deliver the most realistic and intuitive BJ experience ever! The newer version is also compatible for long-distance play and kinky remote-controlled pleasure – just link it to your partner’s smart device and have them control the fun for you!
Kiiroo Onyx+
If you want to take your relationship with your favorite pornstar to the next level, you need to get the Kiiroo Onyx+. This bad boy is probably the most interactive toy on the market and will let you sync up with both the girls and boys in porn. If that’s not your thing, though, you can also have virtual sex with your long-distance partner(s).
Of course, there’s also a Manual mode for all of you guys who know exactly what you want. If you don’t need someone to jump up and down your schlong through the screen, just go manual.
Another thing I like about the Kiiroo Onyx+ is the cool and sleek design that allows you to tuck the toy in your drawer.
Lelo F1s Developer’s Kit
Lelo’s F1s Developer’s Kit is basically the LaFerrari of the male sex toy world. The F1s is not your average sex toy for men that just goes up and down, stroking your ego. Instead, it uses super innovative SenSonic technology to emit powerful waves. You can feel these waves deep inside your General, which is a sensation I had never experienced before.
There’s a body-safe silicone sleeve inside the F1s, and it is rechargeable and waterproof.
Oh, and did I mention that the toy can last for two hours on a full charge?! I’m pretty sure that no one can last that long inside this Lelo toy, but hey – give it your best shot.
Kiiroo Titan
The Kiiroo Titan is an incredible interactive toy that’ll blow both your mind and your trouser snake. This cool little gadget has nine vibrating bullets inside that will massage your skin flute into ecstasy.
It’s also pretty compact, and the outside of the Titan is ribbed for your pleasure. Actually, it’s ribbed so that you can hold on to it much easier, but I really just wanted to include the Durex slogan.
You can sync the Titan up to your favorite porn or interactive game. Alternatively, if you have a long-distance partner, you can connect to their Kiiroo toy and have some fun. With the Kiiroo Titan, Skype dates won’t have to be dull ever again.
Lovense Max 2
Another cool gizmo that you can use with a long-distance partner is the Lovense Max 2. Lovense worked on this sex toy for men for like a decade, and the commitment and effort the company put into it really shows.
Max 2 has seven different vibration patterns, as well as three contraction settings. As such, you can decide how fast and firm the toy is going to be on your John Thomas.
It also has some pretty strong suction capabilities that will blow you away (pun intended). Oh, and did I mention the ultra-soft silicone sleeve with a couple of different textures and a neutral hole?! Honestly, you have to feel it to believe it.
Lelo Loki Wave
The Lelo Loki Wave is an awesome vibrating male anal toy that hits all the right spots. The toy has these dual motors that allow it to provide both internal and external stimulation. Basically, the Loki Wave will massage both your prostate and your perineum to allow for surreal orgasms.
The toy is available in two colors, Obsidian Black and Federal Blue, and it’s totally waterproof. So if you’ve never tried a prostate massager before, and you’re a bit nervous, draw yourself a bath and take your time. Experiment with any of the 10 pleasure settings and figure out what works for you.
Lelo Billy
The Lelo Billy is a sophisticated, dare I say, luxurious male prostate massager that’s guaranteed to turn your sex life upside down. It’s one of the best sex toys for men who want to up their sex game, but don’t have a lot of experience with them. The Lelo Billy has a diameter of only 1.1 inches, while the insertable length is 3.9 inches.
Of course, just like the Loki Wave, Billy is made out of body-safe silicone, and you can use it for solo or couples play.
On a full charge, this male sex toy will last around four hours. From my experience, that’s quite enough to get off more than a dozen times.
Pulse Solo Lux
The Pulse Solo Lux is an awesome sex toy that welcomes penises of all shapes and sizes. Even though it’s technically a vibrator, it actually oscillates. Either way, this ultra-powerful toy can take you and your dong from 0 to 60 in just a few minutes.
You can use it when there’s no spark in your plug, or when you’re so hard that you could pop. But the coolest thing about the Pulse Solo Lux, by far, is that it comes with a remote controller.
Just put the toy on your schlong, turn the power on, start fiddling with the buttons on your remote, and go to town.
Fleshlight Quickshot Launch
I might be a bit biased here, but the Fleshlight Quickshot Launch is probably one of the best hands-free male sex toys ever. This bad boy has everything you’d want from a toy and more.
For one, it can stroke your baby maker 250 times per minute! Yeah, you read that right. The Quickshot Launch also lets you change the position settings. That way, no part of your one-eyed monster goes unloved.
The toy is one of the prime examples of how easy it is to clean and use automatic male sex toys. Also – and this is my favorite part – you can get three different Quickshots to go with it, including a Riley Reid one! That one is molded after the superstar’s holes, and it’s actually my favorite Quickshot.
Fun Factory Manta
The Fun Factory Manta is probably my favorite male sex toy to date. Yes, I know I’ve said that about almost all of these, but they’re just so damn good!
The Manta is basically a stroker with silicone flaps that envelop your manhood oh so gently. It features an open-ended design that makes the cleanup pretty easy.
But to be honest, that’s not even why I fell in love with this toy – it’s the endless possibilities for solo and couples play. You can use it while getting a handjob, a blowjob, during sex, or on your partner alone. Needless to say, the sky’s the limit with the Manta.
Aneros Helix Syn
The Helix Syn is a top-notch prostate massager from Aneros and probably one of the best sex toys for men who are ready to dip their toes in the water. It has the perfect design and texture – stiff on the inside and soft on the outside. There’s a rigid inner frame inside that allows you to be as rough or as gentle as you want.
Another great thing about the Helix Syn is that it has these two S-shaped handles at the bottom. They’re supposed to ensure that this sex toy for men doesn’t slip inside more than it should.
The handles also add to the external stimulation for an incredible all-around experience. In fact, they’ll gently tickle your perineum or crown jewels and send shivers down your spine.
Lelo Tor 2
The Lelo Tor 2 is, by far, the coolest, most comfortable cock ring on the market right now. The silicone material that the Tor 2 features is pretty stretchy, which means that it can fit most guys, no matter how big they are. You can also choose from six different pleasure settings and experiment to see what you like best.
Tor 2 is rechargeable and waterproof, so you can use it for some hot shower sex. On top of that, depending on how you like to get down in bed (or the shower), you can put the toy on your base, shaft, or even tip.
Honestly, it’s probably one of the best couples’ toys out there.
| 🏷️ Products Reviewed: 198 |
| 🥇 Best Product: Autoblow A.I.+ |
| 📅 Last updated: September 16, 2024 |
Let’s Talk About Sex Toys for Men
We are all so lucky to be living in the golden age of technology and sex toys for men. Long gone are the days when your only option was to buy an ugly, low-quality guybrator because there were no other choices. Now, finally, our time has come, and we don’t have to choose function over design. We can have it both ways!
However, if you’re new to the whole world, you might find it overwhelming. That’s why I’m here for you every step of the way.
The first thing you have to know is that male sex toys will take your masturbation, as well as your sex game, to a whole new level. They can stroke your love muscle while massaging your prostate and help you build stamina.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, let’s talk about which types of sex toys for guys you can even buy:
1. Blowjob Machines
Even though the term blowjob machines is pretty self-explanatory, it’s best that I explain what these are and how they work.
So, unlike most other toys, blowjob machines specifically only imitate oral sex. They usually have soft sleeves with realistic mouth toppers or little “tongues” inside.
No matter if you’re single, in a committed relationship, or with a partner who’s far, far away, if you love getting head, you should get a blowjob machine. It’s often better for solo play, but hey – if you can make it work with a partner, absolutely go for it.
Needless to say, I love using blowjob machines, and my absolute favorite one is the Autoblow A.I.+ Some other excellent options include the Kiiroo Onyx+ and the Fleshlight Quickshot Launch.
2. Male Masturbators
Unlike a blowjob machine, male masturbators can usually be pretty much anything you want them to be. Most often, they come with different types of toppers or holes to mimic a mouth, a pink taco, or a chocolate starfish (is anyone else getting hungry?).
Of course, depending on the topper, speed, and suction, you’ll get different sensations. The difference, however, between a person and a masturbator is that the toy never has a headache or an upset stomach. Also, you’re the one in charge of the whole process, start to finish.
3. Realistic Vaginas/Asses/Torsos
Now, male masturbators can come in all shapes and sizes, but I know some people are put off by their futuristic appearance. They want something more real, something they already know and love. That’s exactly why sex toy companies started making realistic vaginas, asses, and torsos.
These sex toys for men always have two things in common: they’re lifelike and super soft. Also, because they’re usually life-size, they’re much bigger than regular sex toys.
If that’s something that you’d like to see in action, my two favorite realistic toys are the Hera Hip Mini and the Kendra Lust Life Booty Stroker. Sure, they’re a bit pricey, but trust me – they are more than worth it.
4. Sex Dolls for Men
There still seems to be some sort of stigma around male sex dolls, and for the life of me, I have no idea why. I think that almost every man in the world could benefit from having one of these at home.
Sex dolls can help build your sex stamina and teach you about the female anatomy. They’re great companions when you’re lonely or down in the dumps as well.
Also, you can customize almost every doll that’s on the market today and make your perfect girl or guy. You can choose their skin, eye, and hair color. In fact, you can even decide if they have pubic hair or a removable vagina.
With that said, Jasmine, the ultimate fembot by Ryan Davis, has been a personal favorite for a long time. But if Jasmine doesn’t do it for you, maybe Kendra or Lana will be more up your alley.
5. Pocket Pussies
While realistic vaginas, asses, and torsos are the closest you’ll get to the real thing, they’re not really discreet. It’s not like you can pack them in a duffle bag and go on a vacation. But that’s where pocket pussies come in. They’re compact and easy to carry but still pack quite a punch.
The original pocket pussy pioneer was Fleshlight, and I think I still can’t get over just how good the Pink Lady is. I’m not going to lie – I’ve used the toy a couple of dozen times, and I’m yet to be bored. But if you already have the Pink Lady and want some more variety or tightness, I recommend either the KYO Bound Kukuru or Frigging Girl Onahole.
6. Cock Rings
Oh boy, do I love cock rings. These bad boys have gotten me out of more sticky situations than I can count. They’ve helped me hold erections and keep going for hours even when I had whiskey dick. Because of that, they’ll always be near and dear to my heart.
But the real reason I love these sex toys for men is that they give my partner just as much pleasure. By putting a cock ring on, I get to turn into a real-life vibrator. To me, that’s just priceless.
Of course, when shopping for a cock ring, remember to check the diameter to ensure your skin flute actually fits in there. The ones I’ve used the most over the years have been the Lelo Tor 2 and the Tantus Vibrating C-Ring.
7. Penis Pumps
In my opinion, penis pumps are another type of sex toy for men that don’t get enough credit. Most people seem to think that they’re dangerous or just straight up don’t work. But I’m here to tell you that that’s completely false – provided you get the right pump, of course.
I think that any guy who’s self-conscious about the size of his Johnson should have a penis pump in his drawer. But even if you like how girthy and long you are (cheers to that), you can still get so much out of a pump. It’ll allow you to see and appreciate the full glory of your woody, which is worth every penny in my book. So if you’re considering getting one, my recommendations are the HydroMax 7 and Penomet Premium.
8. Couples Sex Toys
Most guys get into sex toys for men because they want to improve or boost their sex lives with their partners. I also know a lot of them who only started using them in long-distance relationships.
That’s exactly why most sex toy companies make gadgets and gizmos that you can use in all sorts of different scenarios. There are some that enhance your blowie experience, while others are great for a gangbang, for instance.
Either way, based on your needs, you have to try and figure out what the toy would do for the two (or more) of you. Over the years, I’ve found that I mostly gravitate toward the Lovense Max 2 and the Kiiroo Onyx+ Pearl2 Couples Set. Also, I always have a blast using Lelo Tor 2 because it allows me to reach my full potential in bed. As an added bonus, I get to see what life as a vibrator would be like.
9. Prostate Massagers
Some of my favorite sex toys for men have got to be prostate massagers, which is why I wanted to clear up some misconceptions about them.
For starters, both gay and straight men can and absolutely should use them if they want to experience the best orgasms of their lives. Also, you can use them alone for solo play or with a partner to amp up your sex life.
Of course, just like you would with any other male sex toys, you have to use lots and lots of lube with prostate massagers. If you’re in the mood to experiment, I would definitely recommend the Lelo Hugo or the Aneros Helix Syn.
The Basics of Buying Sex Toys for Men
Before you finally pull the trigger and get your little buddy the best sex toy for men, here’s what you need to consider.
The Material
Now, sex toys for men, as well as women, are made from all sorts of different materials. You can get silicone, Cyberskin, glass, plastic, TPE, and even metal ones. But from my experience, the two materials that usually feel best both outside and inside are silicone and TPE.
In fact, some of the best, most realistic sex toys for men are made from body-safe, medical-grade silicone. The silicone, coupled with water-based lube, always feels incredible on the skin. On the other hand, most masturbation sleeves, like the Mega-Bator, are made from TPE, which is a type of skin-safe polymer.
As a general rule, I tend to stay away from plastic sex toys for men because they just never feel good. They’re also usually pretty low-quality, tend to break, and don’t hold lube well.
The Price
Right off the bat, I want to say that I am a huge advocate of investing in your sex toys. After all, the toy is literally going on your most prized possession. So if there ever was a time for you to go big or go home, it’s now.
Of course, you shouldn’t spend your freaking life savings on a sex toy and live in the box that it came in. If there’s something that you love and is currently over your budget, wait a while. Save up and get a male sex toy when you’re sure it won’t break the bank.
Whatever you do, just please don’t buy those cheap, shady toys from Amazon that cost like ten bucks. Unless you want to horribly disfigure your trouser snake or have it fall off, run as far away and as fast as possible from those plastic death traps.
The Packaging
The packaging is a huge dealbreaker for me and always at the top of my list of priorities when buying a new toy. That’s why I check what kind of packaging my sex toys for men come in before I order anything. It’s honestly not even that I’m shy about the things I buy or the toys I use. I just think that there’s no reason for my neighbors to know how I like to get down.
Fortunately, most sex toy companies seem to have taken the hint and send their sex toys for men in discreet packaging. All of the toys usually come in plain, brown boxes that don’t raise any suspicion.
The Portability
Portability is another really important thing that I consider when buying a new toy, but it’s not necessarily a dealbreaker.
If you like to move around a lot or want something compact, definitely go for a smaller toy. For example, Lelo’s products are usually pretty sleek and portable, like the Tor 2 or the Loki Wave. Also, most cock rings and pocket pussies are pretty much sex toys for a man on the go.
On the other hand, blowjob machines tend to be bigger, bulkier, and heavier. I, for one, can’t imagine packing the Autoblow A.I.+ or the Quickshot Launch for like a trip or something. But if you’ve got the storage space and don’t want to compromise your orgasm, go for it.
Ease of Cleanup
Another thing that can make or break a male sex toy for me is how easy it is to clean. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll still get the toy and use it once or twice, even if it’s difficult to sanitize. But I probably won’t reach for it as often.
From my experience, the easiest toys to clean are strokers, massagers, and cock rings. They usually have open-ended designs, so you don’t need more than a couple of minutes to wash them.
However, pocket pussies, sex dolls, and blowjob machines can sometimes be a bitch to clean (pardon my French). They require you to take the sleeves out or turn them inside out and really get into every nook and cranny. Even though it’s usually a crappy task, this isn’t something you can really skip. Otherwise, your sex toys for him could end up moldy and disgusting, so using them dirty might actually make your willy fall off.
The Features
I could honestly talk about the features of male sex toys for hours on end, but I don’t want to nerd out and bore you guys. Instead, I’ll say this – bells and whistles do not make a toy. Although I like that some of my toys have Bluetooth connectivity or VR compatibility, that’s only a perk, not the reason I got them.
At the end of the day, I just want toys that are high-quality, durable, and feel good on my manhood. That’s it!
But hey – if bells and whistles are important to you, there are still some first-rate toys on the market. The number of qualities they possess is often quite impressive. In fact, some of them even come with features that allow you to have virtual sex with pornstars, for example.
Tips on Using, Cleaning, and Storing Your Male Sex Toys
The following tips will help extend your toy’s lifespan and ensure that you always get the most out of the experience.
How to Use Most Sex Toys for Guys
I’m not going to lecture you on how to stroke your own ego, as I’m sure you’re an expert at that by now. But most sex toys for men do have a learning curve to them, especially if you’ve never used one before.
The first thing you’ll have to do is lube up, but I’m not talking about squirting a drop or two and calling it a day. No – you have to be pretty liberal with the lube if you don’t want to get a burn on your dong or hear that dreaded pfft sound.
Since most toys nowadays are made from silicone or TPE, I always recommend using some water-based lube with them. It sticks much better to sex toys and provides a more enjoyable fapping experience than silicone lube.
On top of that, if you use the silicone variety on your silicone toy, you run the risk of ruining it. The molecules in both products will have a negative reaction to each other, causing the toy to slowly deteriorate over time.
How to Clean Sex Toys for Him
Now that you’ve successfully done the dirty deed and busted a nut, it’s time to clean your toy. Please, please, please, don’t put off doing this or leave your toy to soak in your spunk for a few days.
Letting your juices marinate inside or on the toy is a surefire way to attract bacteria and mold. All of that gross stuff is bound to turn your expensive male sex toy into a useless, disgusting piece of junk.
But the great thing about cleaning your toys is that it’s usually a five-minute process that only requires mild soap and tepid water. Make sure to get into every nook and cranny with your soap or sex toy cleaner before running the tap.
If you’re playing with a Cyberskin or silicone sleeve, you can also use some renewing powder. Most of these powders are usually made from cornstarch, so they’re body-safe and will keep your sleeves soft and supple for a long time.
How and Where to Store Sex Toys for Men
Where you store your sex toys is just as important as how well you clean them.
For one, never put your toys near perfumes, powders, or oils because they could get on the toy and irritate your skin. Instead, once you’re done cleaning it, put your sex toy in the pouch or box that it came in. Nowadays, most respectable companies like Lelo or Tenga will send you exactly what you need to store your toy away.
But if you’ve gotten rid of the packaging, get like a silky pouch or even a small storage box. These will prevent dust and lint from getting on your toys and keep them in tip-top shape.
Once they’re all packed up, depending on their size, you can put the toys in drawers, bags, or under the bed.
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Frequently Asked Questions
I know that many guys are put off by the idea of buying a male sex toy because they have so many questions and not enough answers. Even to this day, most websites and blogs only talk about female toys and never include men.
Well, I’m about to change that. Here are all the most frequent questions that I get from my readers, finally answered.
Technically, yes, you can share your toys. However, whether or not you should share them is a whole different question.
I’ve had guys ask me if they can share their sex toys with roommates and friends, and it honestly all depends on how you use them. If all of you wear condoms while playing and clean the toys thoroughly when you’re done, I don’t see a reason not to share.
But if you want to ditch the condoms (which I’m sure you do), you might want to get tested for STDs. The same principle applies when you’re sharing a toy with your partner. If you’ve both gotten a clean bill of health, absolutely go for it.
Rechargeable vs. Single-Use Toys – Which Are Better?
Now, I know quite a lot of guys who prefer playing with single-use sex toys for men, and I kind of get where they’re coming from. Once you’re done polishing your pole, you can just throw the toy in the trash and continue with your day. There’s no cleanup, no sprays, or powders. If you’re interested in single-use toys, I’d definitely recommend the Tenga Eggs.
With that said, I’m still not a huge fan of these disposable toys. I mean, it’s really not that difficult to just wash your toy when you’re done.
Also, the standard toys are always much softer and more comfortable than single-use ones. Plus, having a rechargeable or battery-operated toy is way more eco-friendly than getting a disposable one.
How Long Do Sex Toys for Men Last?
The longevity of your toys will depend on a bunch of factors. To name a few, you have to consider how much money you’ve spent on the toy, which brand you bought it from, and how well you clean and store it. If you buy a high-quality toy from a company like Lelo, for example, and take proper care of it, it may literally last you for years.
On the other hand, if you buy a cheap, plastic knockoff, don’t expect it to last you for more than a couple of uses. That’s why I always say that all sex toys for men are an investment and not something you want to skimp on.
What Should I Avoid When Buying a Toy?
The one thing you have to avoid – and I can’t stress this enough – is cheap, plastic toys that promise you the world. When it comes to sex toys for men, you always get what you pay for. So, high-quality toys are always better, more comfortable, and last much longer than cheap knockoffs.
Also, if this is your first time entering the world of male sex toys, I say – take it slow and don’t overcomplicate things. Buy something that has good reviews, is easy to use, and won’t break the bank.
How Do I Talk to My Partner About Introducing a Toy to the Bedroom?
Talking to your partner about introducing a toy can be tough, especially if they’re vanilla in the bed, and you’re not.
With that said, most partners will usually respond positively if you ease them into the conversation and the experience. You should explain why you’d like to get a toy and what you think it could do for the two (or three or five) of you.
Even if they don’t want you to use the toy on them, ask them how they would feel if you got one for yourself and used it in front of them. Start slow and small; don’t try to rush the process.
Of course, respect their boundaries and don’t try to push them into doing something they’re not comfortable with.
How Do I Choose the Right Toy?
The best way to go about finding the right toy for you is to consider what you actually like doing in the bedroom. Do you prefer handjobs, blowjobs, anal, good old fashioned vanilla sex, or everything in between?
If you love having someone’s hands on you, go with a stroker like the Manta. But if you’re more into bjs, you can get a blowjob machine, a sleeve, or even a sex doll. Of course, sex dolls are also the answer if you like oral, anal, and any other type of sex.
You should also consider how you’ll be using the toy, alone or with a partner, and what features you want.
A Brief Overview of the Male Sex Toy Industry
The modern male sex toy industry has come a long way since its humble beginnings in the ‘90s. But the history of male sex toys goes way beyond that, back to ancient times. Even though we don’t have to blow a load between two couch cushions anymore, there’s still some progress to be made.
Where We Started
For as long as men have known how to yank their own chains, they’ve been coming up with makeshift vaginas.
As we all know, the ancient Greeks were smart cookies, inventing new things all the time. So it’s really not a surprise that they found a way to get their rocks off by putting their manhoods in stale bread and using olive oil as lube. Side note: olive oil does work if you’re in a real pinch, but it’s pretty messy.
All throughout history, men have continued to use all sorts of different makeshift toys and lubricants to beat their meat. But then the dark ages came, and the church forbade masturbation, calling it a sin.
Don’t get me wrong. The men were still absolutely masturbating all the time. But the difference was that they couldn’t be vocal about it or invent new gizmos and gadgets.
As the 20th century rolled around, though, so did the male sex toy movement. In 1904 in Paris (the city of debauchery), a Dr. P. designed the first-ever inflatable doll. This doll was for male pleasure only, and just a few short years later, it went into mass production.
The Fleshlight
Although I’m sure the mustachioed gentlemen enjoyed the original inflatable doll, there was a need for something more compact. A mere 90 years later, the inventor of the Fleshlight, Steve Shubin, gave them exactly what they were craving. He invented a pocket pussy that could easily be disguised as a normal household object – the mighty flashlight.
Even today, the Fleshlight has its place on the market, and the company is constantly putting out new versions of the toy.
Where We Are
After the Fleshlight came out, the Internet boom happened, and more and more companies started making their own versions of sex toys for men. They came out with cock rings, masturbation sleeves, and penis pumps. These toys weren’t that similar to what we have today, but they were a damn good step in the right direction.
After a while, sex toy companies noticed that their customers wanted something more high-quality. People also wanted toys that not only felt good but looked incredible too.
That’s why most of the sex toys for men you’ll find on the market today are stylish and sleek. They’re also made from sturdy but supple materials like silicone or Cyberskin. But it doesn’t end there.
Where We’re Going
Sex toy companies are now taking advantage of the mind-blowing technology we have at our fingertips. They’re combining artificial intelligence with sex toys for men to bring ultimate joy and pleasure. It’s like they’re competing who’s going to give us the best O, and I am so here for it.
As the porn industry has turned to POV videos and VR, sex toy companies are not lagging behind. You can now buy toys like the Kiiroo Onyx+ that allow you to connect to 2D and 3D videos. On the other hand, Autoblow A.I.+ uses cutting-edge technology to provide the most incredible beej experience.
Now, I can’t say for sure what will happen in the future or what sex toys for men will look like. No one can. But one thing’s for sure – I am damn excited to get my hands (and dong) on all the future toys.
A Few of My Favorite Sex Toy Stories
I’ve been in the sex toy business for a really long time, and I’ve heard all sorts of insane stories. I remember that one time, a friend’s mom thought that a penis pump was a vase. I can also vividly recall when my parents walked in on me using a cock ring. Oh, just thinking about the excuses that I told back then makes me giggle (sorry, mom!).
Here are some of my favorite sex toy stories that never fail to make me laugh. For obvious reasons, these guys have decided to stay anonymous.
The Dissected Fleshlight
Way back in my college days, I had been single for a while and decided to give the old Fleshlight a try. I heard so many great things about it, and I had to see what all the fuss was about.
Anyway, fast forward a few months, I had been using the Fleshlight on a regular basis. Since I had a roommate, I would always use it and clean it while he was away. But one day, while he was out and about, I washed my Fleshlight sleeve and left it to air-dry on the bathroom sink.
Needless to say, I forgot that it was even there until a couple of hours later when my roommate came back. I heard a loud shriek from the bathroom and realized what I had done. He saw the sleeve, got scared, and knocked it over into the toilet (yes, I had to fish it out).
It’s been years since that happened, but every time we get together, we still talk about it and laugh.
The Powerful Suction Cup Dildo
I had bought a powerful suction cup dildo, and I was trying to figure out where exactly to put it. I tried a few different spots until I landed on the bathroom and stuck it onto the tiles to see how it fit. As I tried to pull it away, a bunch of the tiles came off and shattered on the floor!
Naturally, I had to call my landlord and tell him about it. Of course, I made up a story and told him that I had broken them when I tripped and fell, landing hands-first on the tiles. He bought the story (lucky me) and decided to remodel the whole bathroom because of the tiles. Silver lining, I guess?
The Penis Pump Mishap
I had been using penis pumps for years and was always careful about where I left them. My kid was little back then, and he loved going through my stuff. Obviously, I didn’t want him to accidentally find the toy. So before my kid would visit, I would pack the pump and stuff it deep inside my closet.
The day before my son was supposed to visit, I had a lady friend come over, and I used the pump with her. Naturally, after we were done, I washed the pump and left it on my kitchen sink to dry. The thing is, I was going to put it away before my son arrived the next morning. But I forgot that my friend was coming over to hang out the night before.
So there we were, sitting in my living room, getting up to grab a beer from the kitchen every twenty minutes. Both of us were, for whatever reason, completely unaware of the pump sitting on the counter. Then, of course, after a while, my friend noticed it and started laughing and crying uncontrollably.
Long story short: I got him into the world of penis pumps, and a bunch of my other friends started using sex toys for men as well. I call that a victory.
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