In a world often preoccupied with reciprocity and balance in relationships, we often forget the beauty of loving unconditionally. This thought-provoking exploration delves into the notion that it’s not only acceptable but truly admirable to be the one who loves the most. Join us as we unravel the profound reasons why embracing this role can lead to deeper connections and a richer, more fulfilling life.
Is it bad to love your boyfriend or girlfriend more than he or she loves you?
More often than not, I find that I’m the one who loves more in relationships: I’m the one who drops lunches off at work; leaves cute notes for him to find; texts back the fastest, and calls the most. I’m the one who waits to hear “I love you” but feels it first; I’m the one who’s there on a whim’s notice, even at 3AM when I’m tired as s***.
And, more often than not, my relationships don’t work out, and I’m left feeling like a messy heap of spaghetti on the sidewalk: jumbled, confused, and a little bit saucy.
Is this the “wrong” way to go about one’s love life: to put everything into it and get so little in return? I actually don’t think so. In fact, I couldn’t be more satisfied – or proud of myself – when it comes to how I love.
I had one serious relationship throughout the majority of my time in college. I met him at a Halloween party when I was a freshman. Just 17, caked with holiday makeup and in awe of all the tall, loud people stumbling around the townhouse with blue party cups, I spotted him amongst the crowd.
Soon enough, we were making out upstairs. It wasn’t the most romantic of “meet cute” stories.
I’m not typically one to air all of the dirty details, but here’s the rundown: I fell hard. He fell halfway. He drank a lot. I took care of him. He wanted to see me about half as much as I wanted to see him. Sometimes I didn’t hear from him for days. He’d break up with me on a seemingly random basis. And still, I stayed. And I loved him wholly.
Most people would think I was being an idiot. Hell, I think I was being an idiot. I was foolish for falling for the same shtick, for putting up with his drunken antics, and for refusing to see the truth: That he just wasn’t into me the way that I was into him. I should’ve accepted the heartbreak and gotten out so much quicker than I actually did.
But I wasn’t wrong for falling in love. I wasn’t wrong for giving it my all and trying, even when it got really tough. I have no regrets for having the feelings I had or putting what I put into the relationship: the only mistake I made was staying with him for as long as I did.
Sometimes it sucks to be the one who loves the most. With it always comes the potential for heartbreak, even if things do work out for the longer term. It hurts to know that your feelings aren’t fully reciprocated, and may never be. Fortunately, I’m in a different kind of relationship now: I still love fiercely, intensely, entirely – but my current partner loves me just as much, and it’s one of the most freeing experiences in the world. Finally, I’m being generously compensated for all those years I loved too much.
Don’t ever regret being the one who loves the most. If you’re that guy or girl in the relationship, just wait: You, too, will find someone, someday, who loves just as much as you do. And it’ll all be worth it.
