Asking A Guy “So… What Are We?” Has Never Been Easy… Until Now
Perhaps, in light of a recent dry spell, you were beginning to think that great conversation and physical attraction were simultaneously unattainable. But after several fun dates with the same guy, you feel that there’s finally potential for something more: He’s seen you without makeup, knows your period will start next Thursday, and even sent you flowers “just because”. Now that you’re doing laundry together on a regular basis, you’re predicting a Facebook relationship status change within a week – but you’re too afraid to ask him where he thinks things stand.
So, how do you approach the topic of exclusivity without completely scaring him away? You can start by taking solace knowing that practically every girl has been in your angst-ridden shoes. And then, put that phone down. Staring at it won’t make him text his undying love for you any faster, and will only increase the possibility of you texting him something really stupid. Instead, consider the following:
Give It Time
Although you should never expect to lock down a boyfriend after the first date, plenty of women start thinking that way even before the check comes. Get to know the guy and let him get to know you. Rushing into a relationship with someone you don’t quite really know yet is a surefire way to set yourself up for disaster. Keep your options open for several weeks before even considering exclusivity.
Make Him Think It’s His Idea
Since the beginning of time, men have found excitement in chasing women. Appearing too eager to be his girlfriend can be a real turn off. Instead, let him know you’re very selective about who you date and are looking for a monogamous relationship. Suggesting that you’re still deciding whether you think he’s the right guy for you will convey desirability and confidence – both super sexy qualities. Demonstrating that you have high standards and aren’t needy will surely reel him in.
Do It In Person
Generally speaking, males aren’t exactly known for seeking out conversations about serious relationships. In fact, the words “we need to talk” work great as guy repellant, if you ever require some. For this reason, avoid texting or emailing your dude to prepare him for any sort of big discussion, and instead simply wait until you see him face-to-face to communicate your perspective. When you do get the opportunity to talk, keep the conversation light and direct by opening something that conveys, “I like you a lot and want us to be exclusive. I was wondering how you felt about that?”.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
That old saying rings true for a lot of guys. Many would rather show you how they feel instead of saying it. For example, he might indicate that he’s ready for a serious relationship by introducing you to his friends and family, bringing you to exclusive work functions, taking an interest in your interests, calling for no reason, or giving you a key to his place (in which case, he’s basically spelling it out for you). Girls love putting big, shiny labels on things – but if he spends all of his free time with you, and things seem to be going well, you’re on the right track. If the two of you are meant to be, the official label will eventually come! If not, you’ll know when it’s time to walk. So until then… chill!
