Is It A Man’s Responsibility To Pay For Drinks, Dinner, Or A Movie?
In this ever-evolving age of modern dating, what may have been considered a “romantic” gesture fifty years ago can seem chauvinistic and insulting today. (For example, unless he’s looking for a swift kick to the nuts, no modern man should ever order every app, main, and dessert for a lady without asking for permission to do so). On the other hand, plenty of women complain that “chivalry is dead”, and that it’s impossible to find a man with manners and respect these days.
What’s a guy to do when it comes to paying for a first date?
Well, if the guy is the one inviting a lady out for the first time, it’s unquestionably his duty to finance that evening. However, there are a few other scenarios in which the answer might not be as simple. For example, if a lady asks a guy out – which is becoming (as it should!) tremendously more common these days – it’s not unreasonable for the woman to pay. Ultimately, whoever suggests the date should theoretically be responsible for paying. (Though, if he’s off the hook on the first date, that dude better step it up to pay – in full – for the second night out).
But no matter who foots the bill in the end, both guy and girl should at least offer to pay. The two of you may engage in that commonly awkward power struggle for responsibility, and you might not even be happy about the outcome of the battle – but it’s the effort that matters most of all. Until exclusivity is established, both parties should consistently propose payment.
I do not, however, believe that a man should pay for every date just because he’s a man. If you’re a woman on a third or fourth date with a guy who has paid for everything up until now, you should not only offer – you should INSIST on paying once in a while. Chivalry is important, but in 2023, gender equality should include equal rights to pay for dinner!
Once you’ve committed to a relationship and have been dating for a couple of months or more, it might be best to openly discuss a financial system. For example, the both of you might decide that you will go 50/50 on all meals except for special occasions. Or perhaps one person will pay for all meals, while the other half of the couple will take care of drinks. Or, if one partner has a significantly larger income than the other, the better-off individual might voluntarily agree to handle all expenses for a certain amount of time. There are a whole host of arrangements that may work best for a couple – what’s important is that you and your partner communicate your feelings and wishes to ensure that you’re equally comfortable and satisfied.
