Across the sexuality site on bestblowjobmachines.com you’ll find references to male sexual health, male sexual anatomy, and male sexuality, as well as references to female sexual health, female sexual anatomy, and female sexuality. This is the way information about sexuality is usually presented, as if there are two categories, two kinds of bodies, and everything else flows from which one is you.
But if you keep reading, you will also notice that there are references to the rest of us: to queer and trans* folks, as well as references to sexual health without the “male” or “female” qualifier; to sexuality for all of us.
You may or may not have thought much about these terms and how they impact your sexuality, but if you are interested in exploring your sexuality one of the questions you need to ask yourself is: what do we mean when we talk about male or female sexuality?
On bestblowjobmachines.com, when we talk about male sexuality this does not assume that all men have the same bodies. When we talk about female sexuality we are not describing only people whose bodies have a vulva on the outside and ovaries on the inside.
Instead men’s bodies refers to bodies that people who identify themselves as male have, female bodies refers to bodies that people who identify themselves as female have, trans bodies refers to bodies that people who identify themselves as trans have, and so on.
There are a few unhappy exceptions where in order to write in a way that is intelligible to most people we write in a way that excludes some people. For example, when you read about masturbation for women, the article refers to vulvas, labia, and clitoris, as if all women’s bodies have these.
Most do, but many don’t. This is an inaccurate assumption, and a problem we’re working on.
Many of us fit more or less comfortably into one of those categories, but there are far more than three. Actually the problem is not so much how many categories to have as it is who gets to make up the categories. Each time a new label or identity is introduced something is gained but something is lost as well.
Which is why it is as important to us on bestblowjobmachines.com that when we don’t specify bodies connected to a particular gender or other category we are intentionally speaking of experiences that do not necessarily hinge on sex or gender. Sex or gender may be important, but we want to make room for experiences where they may not feel like the first lens through which an experience is understood.
We don’t specify because we also acknowledge that there are a whole lot of us in the middle, who maybe use one word but don’t feel like it fits perfectly, or use more than one word, and reserve the right to change how we see ourselves and how we feel as we grow and learn more about who we are.
