Preparing for your first orgasm isn’t like preparing for your first camping trip. There isn’t an easy to follow checklist I can offer that will direct you to everything you need to get to your destination safely and on time. This is because there isn’t one way to have your first orgasm. For some people their first orgasm comes with little effort while for others it comes as the result of a lot of work.
So what you need to “get ready” for your first orgasm will be as individual as the orgasms you eventually have. That said, there is some information and a few tips that might prove useful on the road to your first orgasm.
Understanding How Orgasms Work
Orgasm is a complicated event that includes physical, psychological, emotional, and for some people spiritual components. Some people seem to have orgasms more easily than others. There are several theories as to why this may be, but those who theorize about orgasm usually do so from their perspective (e.g. doctors will talk about orgasm primarily as a physiological event, psychologists are more interested in the mental experience). If you’re the kind of person to whom orgasms come easy, then you’ve probably already had one. Otherwise, you can help yourself a bit towards your first orgasm by learning the basics about what an orgasm is, and how they work.
Giving Yourself Your First Orgasm
For many people it will be easier to have their first orgasm on their own through masturbation. Masturbating allows you to provide exactly the kind of stimulation you like, and all of your focus and attention can be about you and giving yourself pleasure. If you’re someone who has already had negative sexual experiences, having your first orgasm on your own can be the only way you feel safe enough to let your guard down. There’s no one way technique that guarantees a first orgasm, but below are some handy tips that may prove useful. It’s also worth noting that for many women their first and easiest orgasm happens with the help of a vibrator.
Have I Already Had My First Orgasm?
In part because of the extremely mixed messages we receive about sex and the limited information most of us get about our bodies and our sexual potential, sexual events like our first orgasm can come with a lot of expectations, good and bad. Before you’ve had your first orgasm you may have heard incredible things, or seen references in movies and other popular media, about the mind-blowing, life-changing experience of orgasm. Having your first one can even be a bit of a let down after all this hype. The amount of misinformation about sexuality and orgasm can also make it difficult for some people to know if they’ve had an orgasm or not.
Difficulty With First-Time Orgasm
Some people have great difficulty having their first orgasm. If you’ve been trying for some time and still haven’t had an orgasm it doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t ever have one. What it does mean is that you have an opportunity to think about the different parts of orgasm and try to figure out where you might be getting stuck. Remember, orgasm is physical, emotional and psychological. If you feel like you can’t orgasm it might be an issue in any of those areas. Here are some good questions to ask yourself, and some information on common reasons people have difficulty with orgasms.
Can I Give Someone Else Their First Orgasm?
Masturbation doesn’t work for everyone as a good way to have a first orgasm, and certainly there are people whose first orgasm is with a partner. That said, if you want to “give” your partner their first orgasm you need to know that they have to be on board with the plan and it is a group effort, with you actually playing a supporting role. Orgasmic response can be produced as the result of enough physical stimulation (although it doesn’t always work that way). But if the goal is for your partner to feel the pleasure of an orgasm they have to be ready and willing. If your partner hasn’t had an orgasm, and they want your help, the first thing to do is read up on how orgasms work (see above). The next step is to talk to your partner about what sorts of touch they like, and how much of a lead they want you to take. Finally, learning a bit about different sexual techniques might be helpful, as long as you tailor them to you and your partner and never get to the point where you’re following along like a recipe and ignoring what’s happening right in front of you.
What Comes After Your First Orgasm?
People say you never forget your first time. That may be true, but it isn’t always a good thing! If you’re like most people then your first orgasm may have happened under less-than-ideal circumstances for great sex. You may have been distracted, it may have gone by in a flash, you may have had a few drinks, you may have been nervous about someone catching you, the list goes on. The good news is that once you have your first orgasm, if you like it, it can get much better from there. Also it seems to be the case that orgasms beget orgasms. The more orgasms you have, the easier it becomes to orgasm and the more orgasms you’re likely to have in the future.
