When your girlfriend disrespects you, you have to show her that you won’t put up with her bullshit while also showing her that it does NOT phase you. Doing these two things SIMULTANEOUSLY is KEY. 90% of the time your girlfriend is doing this to test you. She’s not consciously thinking, “I need to test my boyfriend”, it’s a subconscious response. She’s doing it to see if you’re a worthy mate. ALL girls test their boyfriends, it would be futile for you to attempt to find a girlfriend who doesn’t “play games” or put you through “shit tests”. All women are programmed to put their boyfriends / husbands through shit tests to see how well they handle it, test their masculinity, etc. And even if she’s not testing you, when she disrespects you by canceling a date or insulting you, you have to follow protocol.
Let’s Get The Second Part Down First
DO NOT lose your composure. In fact, it’s a pretty good idea to NEVER lose your composure. DON’T whine. This means NOT sending her a 15 page text message about how upset or mad you are. Easy way to lose attraction with her and make yourself look pathetic. Don’t call her 10 times to cry about something or yell at her. Remember this as a general rule: Always use the LEAST number of words and actions to get this message out: “I’m not gonna put up with your bullshit, and this doesn’t phase me”.
Sometimes when she says something that really pisses you off, you’ll want to insult her back or say something to get even. It’s a man trap, don’t fall prey to your emotions. If she says something that crosses the line, then dump her. Walk and don’t call her for 3 weeks. Show her that you have better things to do than waste your time with a disrespectful girlfriend. If you lose control of yourself and start screaming at her the same way she does to you, then you’ve proven to her that you’re just as out of control as she is. This is what she WANTS you to do. She WANTS you to lose your mind and start ripping off your nuts. That’s why she keeps egging you on. Keep your composure, speak in a calm resonating voice. Don’t throw things or ever resort to any type of violence (banging things, throwing things, threatening, etc).
So what you CAN do to handle the situation is to withdraw attention whenever she shows behavior that you disapprove of. You can even talk to other girls to remind her that she’s in a competitive environment. If you want your girlfriend to stop disrespecting you, it is absolutely critical that she realizes that you are a WANTED man, and that if you get tired of her bullshyt, you’ll go and date someone else.
The following is a good example of EXACTLY what your response should be like:
In more extreme cases, you can confront your girlfriend about it. If you’re in front of your friends and your girlfriend insults you, take her aside and ask her “what are you doing?” and make her feel dumb trying to answer the question. Don’t sound like a corn ball and say “I will not put up with this”, you’re not her 2nd grade teacher. But you can say “What are you doing?” in a SLIGHTLY hostile tone, or tell her straight up that you guys are over if she does it again.
If She Keeps Doing It, You Can Show Her The Door
There’s a very important mental note you’ll always want to keep: There are thousands of girls out there MUCH better than the girl you have. You DON’T need her. SHE needs you. Her life is boring without you. So DON’T be afraid to shut her out if you feel that she has crossed the line. By simply shutting her out and telling her it’s over until she changes her behavior, you’ve shown her that you won’t put up with how she acts, AND you haven’t lost your composure.
Be Watchful Of A Few Things
First, you don’t want to ignore / confront her too often because then you’ll have TOO much power. A relationship is still a two-way thing, you don’t wanna completely dominate her. Doing so might make her insecure or unstable.
Secondly, make sure you DON’T call her or try to talk to her first after you’ve shut her out. If she doesn’t try and reconcile with you after you’ve given her an ultimatum, then it’s over. It’s her loss. But if you try to talk to her or apologize, you’re walking into a death trap. You might as well ask her for permission the next time you wanna voice your opinion or use the bathroom.
Third, if you’re married, this is probably not the best idea. You don’t want to go through a divorce because your wife canceled a date with you. You probably shouldn’t have gotten married to a girl that constantly disrespects you. But if you did, there’s still hope. If it’s your wife, you should directly confront her about it. Act swiftly and the next time she does something, talk to her about it immediately. Ignore her or give her less attention when she shows this kind of behavior. Then, reward her with more attention or flowers when she acts in a more reasonable way. You’ll notice that a lot of times, RIGHT AFTER you confront your wife about something, she’ll fix it, and then eventually she regresses back into bad behavior. What you need to do is reward her accordingly when she shows good behavior so that she WANTS to consistently keep it up.
The reward/punishment technique I mentioned right above can be really helpful in situations like these. If you don’t like the way she’s acting, then give her less attention. If she does something you really like, show your appreciation with affection and attention. But don’t just turn the entire relationship into a system of rewards and punishment. Withdraw your attention when she really disrespects you, not when she’s 5 minutes late to dinner or something. And give her extra attention when she does something that deserves it. This kind of system works wonders and for every guy out there who might feel guilty about “training” their girlfriends, just remember that EVERY SINGLE FEMALE BEING out there does this with sex.
