When out on a date – whether a first, second, or fourteenth – there are some actions so repulsive that not even the most forgiving of partners can overlook them. Ladies, should the gentleman you’re out with ever commit one of the following faux pas in your presence, you have every right to run. And gentlemen, should you ever commit one of the following while out with a woman (or another guy, for that matter), you might hand her a pair of athletic sneakers.
Eat Like An Animal
Enthusiasm for food indicates sophistication and passion; inhaling without chewing indicates an upbringing by wolves. A man should be aware of the speed at and manner in which he eats (e.g. a closed mouth; not picking teeth at the table), so as not to disgust his date and render her unable to eat her own meal.
Talk About Previous Sexual Encounters
Did he just compare his ex-girlfriend’s vagina to a flower? More importantly, did he utter the word vagina while sharing raw oysters on the half shell? No lady wants to hear about a guy’s previous sexual adventures during the first few dates – and certainly not in detail!
Fart
Ah, the all-time classic. The two of you might eventually establish a funny routine for tooting out TV show theme songs together (Seinfeld works especially well for this), but until that day, a guy has no business passing gas in front of a lady.
Nose Pick
Noses are meant for smelling. Sometimes they are meant for looking pretty (at least, if you’re Zac Efron). And occasionally, they are meant to be blown.
But they are never, under any circumstances, meant to be picked while on a date. (What you do at home with your nose, however, is entirely up to you.)
Stink Up The Bathroom
Every lady should love a guy for what he’s all about on the inside – but not literally. She doesn’t want to know what he ate for lunch by way of the odor.
Guys, could it hurt to spritz a little air freshener now and then?
Reek of B.O.
The only thing worse than a dude who turns a bathroom into a sewage plant is a dude who shows up smelling like he just crawled out of one. Sweaty gym aromas are anything but sexy. And cologne is not a substitute for a shower – excessive perfume can be as offensive as body odor.
Burp
Any dainty, accidental burp can be forgiven with a polite “excuse me” – but letting a rip-roaring belch go without any acknowledgement of the act is unforgiveable, and undeniably gross. Guys, take it easy with the beer and soda to avoid blowing your date’s hair back with a Homer Simpson-like eructation.
Champion Misogyny
Hey, verbal blunders happen, and ignorance might be excusable – but a man who knowingly treats women as anything but equals is pretty damned gross. Plus, why would a guy be so dumb as to intentionally say something to offend the very gender he’s trying to woo?
Spout Racism
But perhaps there’s nothing grosser than outright racism. Nevermind where you come from, when you were born, or what you “really meant” by that comment about black people or Jews – bigotry is just straight up gross. Just ask all the ladies not lining up to date Mel Gibson.
