You went out on a first date, but you’re just not sure how you really feel about this person. On the one hand, you didn’t have a terrible time or leave the date running for the hills, but on the other hand, your socks weren’t completely knocked off by this guy or gal. And at this point, you’re just unclear about your true feelings and are left wondering if you should take him or her up on an offer to go out again.
And while you may think that if you didn’t have that instant spark and chemistry it means there’s no hope for a hot romance between the two of you going forward, it’s important to keep in mind the five key reasons why you should give this person a second shot and say yes to a second date.
People are nervous on first dates
While you may be calm, confident and totally comfortable on a first date, others don’t always share these same qualities and attributes.
And for daters who tend to get nervous, anxious and stressed out, they often find themselves worrying about what to expect, what to talk about and what you’ll think of them. And in the process of getting tense and apprehensive around you, they can end up misrepresenting themselves. In fact, even daters who are extremely outgoing and sociable can let their nerves get the best of them from time to time and prevent their best selves from coming out. However, when you decide to give this person a second chance on a second date, you’re helping to lower his or her stress and nervousness, and you’ll have a better chance of getting to know the real person underneath.
First impressions aren’t always correct
While it’s a wonderful fairy tale, falling in love at first sight doesn’t happen to everyone.
In fact, relationships can start in many different ways, and there are countless couples whose levels of attraction, affection and intimacy grew over time. In fact, when you meet someone for a first date, the impression that he or she gives you may not be truly representative of the person he or she actually is.
For instance, he or she may have had a hard day at work and isn’t feeling as witty or as upbeat as normal. Or maybe he or she didn’t sleep well the night before, isn’t feeling 100% or perhaps sitting in traffic on the way to the date negatively impacted his or her behavior when you were together. So instead of jumping to conclusions, there’s no harm in spending a little more time with this person so you can make a rational, well-informed decision about him or her as well as your feelings in general.
You can move past generic first date conversation topics
When it comes to first dates, there are common types of questions, topics and themes that usually come up during your time together. Whether it’s where you grew up, what you do, favorite movies and even thoughts about the weather, first date conversations and comments typically stay on a superficial level. However, if you’re really trying to get to know someone, it’s important to have more meaningful conversations in order to determine if this person has significant potential to be your significant other. That way, you can get some real insight in terms of this person’s values, interests and beliefs in order to truly recognize if you’re compatible. A second date presents the ideal opportunity for you to dig a little deeper to determine if you and this person share these same kinds of attitudes and ideals.
You can see this person in a new light
If you’re looking to really get to know someone, seeing him or her in a new light, both literally and figuratively, is an important step in the process. In fact, a first date at a dark bar or in a crowded coffee shop isn’t necessarily an ideal place to learn about each other to see if you have a connection. In fact, it’s possible that your date didn’t feel entirely comfortable or could even really hear you in that setting in the first place. The good news is that when it comes to a second date, the possibilities are endless in terms of finding a locale where you and this person can really get to know one another. Whether you make dinner plans, go on a hike or take a bike ride on a boardwalk, second dates are a great way to see a different side of your date that you may not have noticed in your first encounter.
You have nothing to lose
If you think your time is too precious to waste getting to know someone better on a second date, you better guess again. In fact, if you’re truly serious and committed to opening yourself up to the possibility of finding a real relationship, you have to be willing to put in the effort and put yourself out there. And if you’re uncertain about your feelings for this person after your first date, the best case scenario is that the two of you hit it off on your second encounter, and this person turns out to be someone truly special. Isn’t it worth putting in a couple more hours to see if you’d work as a couple?
