Let’s begin with a word of reassurance: as long as there are no teeth involved, there’s really no such thing as bad fellatio, also known as a “blow job” (though there’s no blowing involved). For the recipient, they range from “That was a nice little bit of foreplay” to a mind-bending “Oh my god, I think I almost lost consciousness“.
But with a little practice, and a few easy tips, you can improve your odds of providing a truly great blow job every time.
Be Safe.
First things first: If you’re not with a monogamous partner, be safe and use a condom. Granted, oral sex is easier to give and enjoy without the condom, but you absolutely have to put your own health first. Don’t like the taste? Not a problem. Experiment with some of the flavored condoms on the market – that’s what they’re there for! And applying water-based lube to the penis before you put on the condom will greatly increase his pleasure.
Get Comfortable.
Get into a position that provides you easy access but is also comfortable. Change positions as necessary – after all, he wants you to enjoy yourself, too. If you’re kneeling on the floor in front of him, use a pillow under your knees.
Don’t Curb Your Enthusiasm.
The key ingredient, many people will tell you, is plain and simple: enthusiasm. No one wants to feel like their partner is reluctant or unwilling, so if you’re not into it, save it for another time. But if you seem like you’re having fun, it will make the experience that much more pleasurable for him.
Begin With the End in Mind.
Unless it’s just a little foreplay, take your time and pace yourself so you don’t burn out early. That said, don’t feel like it has to be a major commitment every time. Almost any man will tell you he’d prefer getting quicker blow jobs more often over one really great one a year.
Get Him Talking.
Whether it’s harder, softer, faster or slower, no one knows exactly what he wants better than he does. Let him know it’s okay to tell you what he needs, whether verbally or non-verbally. But also be sure to watch for clues: heavy breathing and moans of pleasure mean you’re on the right track.
Start Off With Style.
A little variety is the best way to get him fully aroused: you can stroke, kiss, lick, run your tongue up and down the shaft, take the penis all the way into your mouth in one fell swoop… Keeping him guessing can be a real turn-on.
Use Your Hands: Part 1.
Run your hands over his chest and legs. Grab his backside. Use your hands to gently cup his balls. Not only does it feel good, but it’s a good way to show him that you’re into it.
Don’t Be Shy.
Women often under-estimate the amount of pressure they can exert on an aroused, erect penis. There’s no need to be delicate. It’s good to start out with soft, tantalizing moves, but, as arousal is heightened, it will take more pressure to keep things moving along. Let him know that it’s okay to tell you when it’s too much. Odds are, he won’t.
Watch Those Teeth!
Unless your partner specifically requests it, don’t use your teeth. It can and probably will be painful for him. The best technique is to suck in your lips to cover your teeth just to make sure you don’t accidentally graze him during the act.
The Extra-Credit Secret Spot.
On the underside of the penis, directly below the head, is a small ridge of skin known as the frenulum. On many men, this area is exquisitely sensitive to stimulation. Learn it. Know it. Use it.
Get Into a Rhythm.
Once he’s fully aroused and heading towards what will hopefully be a mind-blowing orgasm, it’s time to take things up a notch. This is where you begin fellating in earnest. Use gentle (not too gentle) suction and an up-and-down motion with your head to move him toward climax.
Use Your Hands: Part 2.
Grasp his penis at the base and move your hand up and down in rhythm with your mouth for increased pressure. Get a steady rhythm going and don’t vary it. It can (and probably will) speed up as he gets closer, but at this point it’s important to not change what you’re doing. This is the very best way to make sure your excursion into blow job land reaches its grand finale.
To Swallow or Not To Swallow…
That is the question. It’s up to you. Many men will tell you that they kind of like it when their partner swallows (although if you did your job well, they might not even notice). But if the idea doesn’t appeal, keep a towel or cup nearby so you don’t have to race to the sink afterwards.
The Most Important Thing to Remember.
Have fun. Relax. He’s going to love it. At the very least, he’ll like it. A whole, whole lot. Especially if you promise to keep practicing on him.
