Is Your Relationship Detrimental To Your Own Well-Being?
When you’re in love, it can be easy to look past your significant other’s flaws. Maybe he or she is a bit impatient and snappy; maybe he or she is scatterbrained and tends to forget about prior commitments. But perhaps the problem is more serious, and your partner may not actually be a good match for you. You might not realize that your relationship is toxic because you simply missed the warnings along the way (or maybe you chose not to see them!).
It’s never easy to scrutinize a potentially harmful relationship, but it’s crucial for your mental and emotional health. Here are six signs that you’re in the kind of relationship you need to abandon ASAP:
1. Your partner is a pathological liar
So you’ve caught your partner lying not once; not twice; but three times or more. And we’re not referring to the time he bluffed about doing the dishes – we’re talking about major deceptions that put a giant dent in your relationship. For example, the time your boyfriend told you he had a work conference but was actually at the bar, drinking with his buddies under the table. Or the time your girlfriend lied for attention about how you had an affair with one of her friends. If your partner tells extensive lies, don’t wait around for him or her to “change”. It’s impossible to build a relationship on a foundation that’s already been broken so many times before.
2. Your partner is a chronic cheater
Even worse than any old run-of-the-mill lie is the ultimate act of betrayal: cheating.
Cheating is an entirely selfish, devious act, and if it recurs – especially if you’ve already intervened – don’t talk yourself into staying by means of nonsensical logic. Your partner has no regard for your needs or feelings, and will probably never break the awful, deceitful habit of doing unethical things behind your back. You deserve better, and you know it.
3. Your partner is verbally abusive
Whether he or she calls you names, makes disparaging remarks, or frequently shouts at you, verbal attacks of any kind – in public or in private – are never okay. It’s one thing to make a snappy remark from time to time; it’s another to severely criticize, tear down, and destroy confidence. Your significant other should lift you up and boost your self-esteem, making you feel wonderful every single day. If this isn’t the case, don’t stick around.
4. Your partner loves you conditionally
No one should be treated like a dirty dishrag. If he or she only stops by when it’s convenient (e.g. when a favor is needed; when he or she wants physical attention), you’ve committed to someone who’s only looking out for his or herself, and that’s not the slightest bit fair – especially if you gain little in return. Two people in a loving and loyal relationship should fulfill their obligations equally; a balance on both ends is of utmost importance. If the weight’s all on your side, get off that seesaw ASAP.
5. Your partner is extremely jealous
Sometimes a little envy in a relationship is a good thing because it denotes a continued sense of desire and lust for each other. Other times, however, jealousy can get incredibly out of hand and result in suffocating feelings, intense frustration, or stress. If you’ve frequently experienced this kind of unwarranted jealousy on behalf of your partner, and you’ve intervened time and time again, it’s best to say goodbye to the former-human-turned-green-eyed-monster. It’s not reasonable or fair for you to deal with this kind of gut-wrenching negativity from one who should be showing unconditional love.
6. Your partner abuses drugs or alcohol
Your partner’s substance abuse not only threatens your well-being, but also places his or her physical and mental health in serious danger. Remember that it’s not your job to get him or her to quit – no one should have to bear that burden but the one who’s abusing. You can offer support by expressing your concerns, contacting loved ones, and providing options for rehabilitation. But you’re not a bad person if you must leave in the end – your own happiness, security, and welfare should ultimately be highest on your list of priorities.
